My baby-man brother starts his high school experience in roughly eight hours. In a few days I am moving back to Ames for another year of college. Today I spent time in a coffee shop editing photographs of a beautiful married and pregnant couple. There was a coffee man who sang to every song that came on the oldies radio--including 'Let's get it on.' He wore a hat. I was entertained. In two days, it will be a month anniversary of my year fast of men. My sister took the limo service to Chicago; the driver's hair and teeth were pearl white. My best friend is moved back to school already; she has already had her second day of work at her new job. My mother painted the front of our house the exact shade of my eyes, an earthy green. I told her green was my favorite color, so I couldn't be happier with the change. Tomorrow, I will help her with the rest of the house. Yesterday, I bought a brand new guitar named Jasmine. She is wooden like a tree but she rings like a bell; I like her. She is the third guitar I have owned in a little over a month, due to two previous broken ones.
But amidst all these trivial and monumental moments I couldn't help but feeling stagnant. On sunday, I laid in the grass staring at this group of clouds. I had never seen clouds so still. motionless. stationary. They spread across the blue sky like unmoving spilt milk. I almost cried over the spilt milk in the sky and how it mirrored my own life currently. Everyone else scurrying about in search for a towel or a mop while I motionlessly ponder this incident. I want to be moving about like my friends and my family and my God.
I do not have a solution or an answer tonight. Let me know if you do.
1 comment:
Ya know Livvy....The great commission is all 'Go and do epic things and change the world'...yet the very next thing Jesus says is wait in jerusalem.
You are never stagnant with God, He is simply letting you rest in Him so that you can begin to move refreshed and renewed with more of his power, goodness, and glory. The disciples were given a dream from Jesus, yet they had to wait to receive more of him in order to have the power to make that dream real. This place where you feel like nothing is going on is the most perfect place to be, it is the place where God can pour into you the most and renew your dreams and visions, to enhance your prophetic sense of the world around you and fill you with his glory so that it is no longer you who lives, but christ in you, and you hidden in Him.
Have fun in Ames, i can't wait to hear about the awesome things God will do there.
love.
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