One minute you are enjoying your time being alone doing something you haven't done in a while; and the next minute, BOOM! some dark presence looms over your heart and you are 'lonely'. And then, unless rebuked in the name of Jesus, he stays for a while. Loneliness pops up his tent and starts finding dry twigs to start a fire. It doesn't really matter if you are suddenly bombarded by people, Loneliness will just sit there vacationing in your spirit.
You can always kick him out. That usually works with a phone call home, or some prayer time, or to drive or run or walk or bike somewhere, anywhere where you know somebody who lives and breathes and communicates in some way.
But sometimes, you just let Lonely sit there for a while. Because it seems like his company is better than no company. Then Lonely, he is quite the partier, he invites his friend Pity. and then, before you know it, on a friday night, You, Lonely, and Pity are partying it up by yourselves.
Pity is talkative and has a really great memory. So he tells you about the times your friends didn't call. And then he brings up conversation about your lack of communication skills. Then, before you can stop him from saying something, BAM-in-your-face, HE MENTIONS: relationships. Does this sound familiar: "Oh, you're still NOT in ANY kind of relationship?! Man, how long has it been? How many months? years?? You'd think by now, I mean, come on, you're young -- live your life!"
And you try to defend yourself, jumbling up some mutterings about how God has a plan for your life and how God has someone for you, and even if he doesn't, you'll be happy because you and God are super close and you think you're in love with him.
Which Pity responds: "Is that why you're here with us? Because God wants you to chill with classy guys like us? Right..."
Then with that remark, you realize that you have been sitting around an imaginary camp fire with Pity and Lonely as your only closest companions. At which point, you stand up, rake your hands through your hair and swear your favorite profanity OUT LOUD and it escapes through the cracks of your fingers that are smothering your face. then you tell your shitty friends to leave, and that they aren't welcome, and that you'd rather camp with Alone than Lonely. And that you'd rather have deep talks with God, instead of Pity. And they take off because they know and you know, the King's love should not be messed with, that royalty and deep romance has infallible power and if the unwelcomed guests didn't scram, they'd probably end up dead, or in a herd of swine, or something worse.
Meanwhile, you grab your bike to converse with other servants to the great I AM. but something stops you. And you decide to just write about how this Great King, this Lover of yours, has changed your entire life. How He has created something new from the old you, the old things you used to do just don't seem worth it anymore--and you can't believe you ever listened to Pity's lies. But none of THAT even matters anymore because just the look of His eyes, melts your heart. Just His eyes. Not to mention His holed hands. And you, without a second thought, ask Him, beg Him, if He can be with you forever. You want to marry Him, but even that wouldn't ever be enough because it's too mortal and too lowly compared to Him. You ask Him how this bond, this relationship, this all-consuming passionate LOVE, can be rooted deeper, and wider -- you ask Him: "How can THIS love last forever? How is that possible? How does this fire NOT burn out after all these years? What if someday it all comes crashing down and you decide to leave? How can you promise it will be for forever?"
And He says:
Because you were created to be with Me. You were made missing something, so that I could give you it. It lasts and it burns still today because you can't live without me, and I sure don't want to live without you.
And all of the sudden, somewhere between the lines of the page, you realize this moment within your friday night, has become one of the most special of your life.
No comments:
Post a Comment