prodigal

i asked for my whole plate of food

i was still full

so it meant nothing

absolutely nothing

i threw it out the car window

as i sped off

i didnt know later

id be hungry

screaming mad hungry

my sunken eyes scanning the walls

waiting clicking stomping

for time to pass

staring at my feet

recounting scars and blemishes

on each arm and leg

each rib bone protruding

from my thin skin

just waiting for a meal

the next meal

the next rush

the next high

to fill me

to fill ME

to fiLL ME

TO FILL ME

as if it was only about me

well guess what GOD

i AM hungry now for what YOU have

i am

i have nothing

i have tried to eat so many things

none of them were good for me

i tried to eat approval

i tried to eat good looks

i tried to eat dating

i tried to eat relationships

i tried to eat money

i tried to eat work

i tried to eat my emotions my highs

i tried to eat my weight

i tried to eat music

i tried to eat old dreams

I TRIED TO INGEST that SIN

but I AM STILL HUNGRY

SO very HUNGRY

I DONT WANT TO KEEP EATING

EATING

EATING MY SIN

that food eats at ME

my insides are more hollow

more empty than ever before

but NOT anymore LORD

im quitting that stuff

in faith i say

that the crumbs from your plate

are enough

father

even your servants

have food and a place to sleep at night

anything is better than this pigsty

i have landed in

i wanna come home dad