The only fortune cookie fortune I have ever kept says: "Travel to appease your restlessness." I firmly believe this fortune was from the Lord. God knows what kind of heart he has placed within me. In my opinion, it is unpredictable and stupid and too easily stirred by distraction, but God knew all that when he created it. Being the Lord and all, He can see how this heart thrives with the right combination of being led and being on an adventure. The Lord has shared with me that someday my husband will offer these things, but for now, Jesus himself gives them freely and that is more than enough for me.
But this doesn't solve my current problem on a Sunday night with a week full of work ahead of me, without any kind of adventure in sight. I am currently in 1 Samuel while reading through the Bible this summer, and God often reminds his people and prophets of what He has done in the past to prove that He will be faithful in the future. So tonight, I will list the things HE has done this year in my year long fast from liking or dating men and seeking after the King. Let me remind you that God promised two things in exchange my fast: that he would expand my world, and that he would never leave.
In just 10 days shy of 11 months God has changed everything.
The Lord has made me a missionary.
The Lord spoke to me and gave me visions about Ethiopia and Sudan. I am currently a future resident of Southern Sudan.
The Lord has given me a desire for a man who will lead me to these places.
I am pure; I have asked for purity and the Lord has placed within me a fresh, clean, white heart.
The Lord has healed me of sexual sin.
The Lord has given me a righteous hatred for sin.
The Lord has made me bashful.
The Lord has healed me of eating disorder tendencies.
My entire Bible will be read when the summer is out.
The Lord has given me the most beautiful and closest and godly friends I could have ever asked for--both men and women of all ages.
The Lord has opened my heart to have the freedom of vulnerability like never before. I am unashamed of my tears that for so many years I tried to hide. I am no longer afraid of being an emotional wreck; I am 100% human after all, something I was unable to admit for many years.
The Lord has made Ames home for this season of my life; and I miss it dearly everyday.
The Lord has named 2 out of the 4 sons He has called me to raise. But I will not share them here.
The Lord has taught me about His glory found within Jesus.
The gospels have become my favorite part of the Bible because Jesus is the Lord, the risen Son of God.
The Lord has given me a little 8 year old boy named Berhanu from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.
The Lord has shown me that true leadership is servanthood.
The Lord has called me to this kind of humble servanthood.
I have somewhat of an obsession with mountains and the ocean and boats. I am not sure if that was the Lord or not.
The Lord has changed my occupation without changing my major. I may be teaching, but it will not be in the way or in the setting I ever expected.
The Lord deadened and now has ripened my desire for my Beloved.
The Lord has turned all men's eyes away like He promised; and I have not been pursued by any man for just under eleven months now.
And the Lord has brought me back here at "home". I did not even come close to entering Ethiopia or Sudan; and I don't know why. But because of His track record solely in the last year, I trust that HIS purpose and plan is always greater.
Wow, would you look at that -- Can I get an AMEN for the faithfulness of the Almighty and caring God who loves us?
Coincidence? I have exactly 40 more days of fasting.
1 comment:
This is beautiful and Jesus could not be any cooler than He is! Love you Livy :)
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