Confessions.

Warning! You may be offended by honesty.

Things only God can love:

1.)

2.) I have pride issues with thinking I'm right. I want to be humbled. I grew up with a lying problem, I want to tell the truth all the time; but I don't.

3.) I consider never leaving the country a fault of mine. I have never left the country.

4.) I hate this fast somedays. Other days, I don't mind it all. I'm always thankful for it. I break it everyday by not taking my thoughts captive. Sometimes I tell God: "but God, if I fully give these desires to you, you'll never give them back." And then he says: "show me a place in the bible that a man was not given back what he fasted." I am still looking for one to prove Him wrong. (sidenote, no one can prove God wrong .) We wrestle.

5.) I know I am in a waiting period for several things in my life. But I know I am not supposed to act like I am waiting for something to happen; things are happening right now! But I think I act like they're not. Maybe everyone does this?

6.) I have not been doing all of my homework this semester. I spend too much time on Facebook, and I need Laura to take my password away again.

7.) What is keeping me from getting a job? Laziness or loving free time or fear of failure?

8.) I don't want to ever go back to wanting my old dreams of settling down for a family and house in the U.S.

9.) Sometimes I can hear the Lord tell me not to do something because he knows it will hurt me, and I do it anyway. and it does hurt me.

10.) I am still really struggling with weight/beauty issues, and I need prayer.

11.) There isn't a day that goes by, that I don't think of the mountains. I am not keeping my heart where my feet are. Maybe I was made for higher altitudes.

God is gracious. I NEED his grace and mercy. I NEED it just as much as everyone else in the world. I have been trying to be more honest and open with people, because a sin of mine has always been pretending I have everything together: pride. I don't have it right. I don't. I don't. I don't. I want to honor God...most of the time, but I don't, I don't, I don't. And this is OF COURSE not a complete list of everything I do wrong--that would be far too long. BUT HERE IS THE GOOD NEWS: God has got it right. His mercy is wide for our failure and shortcomings. Confession is one of the most healing processes there is. But sometimes I don't feel convicted to change, like to stop listening to songs with swearing or thinking of climbing mountains too much. But there is forgiveness for that too.